TV personality

I got the sweetest e-mail yesterday from Ms. Kerry Sullivan, former PIttsfield resident, former Berkshire Eagle copy editor, and now-and-forever "TV personality" Official "Office" Quote-Chooser: She wanted to let me know that she was on her way to Baltimore to catch a flight and might not be in her hotel room in time to catch "The Office" and call me at work with a quote.

As much as I rely on her expert selecting skills, I was able to proceed without her assistance this one week because, well, "The Office" wasn't on last night. Some football thing pre-empted it.

But we can't let the week pass without a classic line. So Kerry, this quote's for you!

The quote: "They unionized in Pittsfield, and we all know what happened in Pittsfield."
Who said it: Jan Levinson-Gould (Melora Hardin).
The episode: "Boys and Girls," Season Two.

Posted by Laura Marshall at 10:59 AM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

Someone needs to tell me when the third season of "House" came out on DVD. I'd had in my mind that it wasn't out until Aug. 28 -- I was waiting and waiting for that date -- and then, on Aug. 23, I headed to Amazon to buy a birthday gift and ... hey ... there's "House," just waiting to be bought. Not pre-ordered, but bought. Huh.

So, of course, I ran out and purchased it that evening. But seriously, when did I get so out of the loop?

If I find that I've been waiting breathlessly for this coming Tuesday's release of "The Office: Season Three" and it's really been out for weeks, I'll ... be really mad. And, of course, run out and purchase it immediately.

Posted by Laura Marshall at 10:47 AM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

Has anybody else out there seen the "Head On" commercials? If you ever watch The Weather Channel, you must have.

They're the most baffling things. They show a woman rubbing what looks like a glue stick slowly across her forehead with a dazed look on her face. In the background, a chorus of men and women says, as if hypnotized, "Head On -- apply directly to the forehead."

Then it gets weirder: The woman keeps rubbing the glue stick on her forehead, and a single woman's voice says, "Apply directly to the forehead."

And then the chorus echoes her: "Apply directly to the forehead."

Not once does the commercial explain what Head On actually is, or why anyone would want or need to apply it "directly to the forehead."

If you ask me, I think it's some kind of sinister brainwashing thing.

Posted by Laura Marshall at 10:53 AM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

The New York Times News Service wire moved a story this week about MTV's first poet laureate on MtvU, its college-campus network, and I have to say I heartily approve of their choice.

Ashbery is, after all, my favorite poet. I even drove to see him read, along with Kurt Vonnegut at an event hosted by George Plimpton at SUNY Albany six or seven years back. (See, I don't only watch TV.)

The headline the Times sent with the story was "80-year-old poet for the MTV generation," as if a writer's age has anything to do with his art being accessible -- look at the Shakespeare in the Courts program, or any high school English curriculum.

Excerpts of Ashbery's poems will be read on the MtvU network and on www.mtvu.com, and I for once can't wait to see them.

I'll leave you with my own favorite excerpt from my favorite poem:

So -- if you want to come with me,
or just pull at my sleeve, let them make that discovery.
Summer won't end in your lap,
nor are the stars more casual than usual.
Peace, quiet, a dictionary -- it was so important,
yet at the end nobody had any time for any of it.
It was as if all of it had never happened,
my shoelaces were untied, and -- am I forgetting anything?

-- from "And the stars were shining," John Ashbery

Posted by Laura Marshall at 05:01 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

Thursday night is always the busiest of my week here at The Eagle -- especially when the A1 editor/designer is out on vacation and I'm filling in.

Still, I managed to steal away for a dinner break long enough to catch the end-credits scene on tonight's "Office" episode, and I'm still grinning. I love this one -- the cold open and the close are beyond brilliant, and the whole thing is just classic.

And official quote-picker Kerry Sullivan agrees. She sent me several quotes to choose from this evening, and I'm going to share them all.

The quote: "I don't have a headache. I'm just preparing."
Who said it: Angela (Angela Kinsey)! I love this quote, not least because it's in response to Kelly's B-A-N-A-N-A-S cheer.

The quote: "I like ice cream. I need a boyfriend."
Who said it: Kelly (Mindy Kaling), pretending to be Bridget Jones.

The quote: "We didn't do anything illegal, except knock over a mailbox with her friends."
Who said it: Andy (Ed Helms)!

The quote: "Then Newsweek picks it up, then CNN does a story about it, then YouTube gets ahold of it."
Who said it: Michael (Steve Carell)!

Posted by Laura Marshall at 10:42 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

What amused and chagrined me most about last night's "On the Lot" finale was that the host, Adrianna Costa, kept referring to it as "On the Lot 2007." As if there's ever going to be another season.

Which is too bad, because it was a really fun little show, for the few of us who watched it -- and the even smaller number of us who weathered the format and schedule changes to ride it out until the end.

But I'm so glad to report that my favorite, Will Bigham, took the top prize. From the beginning, he was by far the most competent and most deserving director among the contestants, and I would have railed mightily had America -- well, again, those of us who cared -- voted otherwise.

And I look forward to finding out what his next project will be.

Posted by Laura Marshall at 09:35 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

The air was cooler yesterday afternoon as I wound through the streets of Pittsfield to The Eagle, and the sky was grey. It felt like rain; rather, it felt like the few moments just before rain. It felt like a Vancouver afternoon.

Summer's almost gone. I'm not terribly sad to see it go. It's always been my least favorite of the seasons. No school -- yeah, I was one of those kids who loved school -- and no relief from the heat. Worst of all, no new episodes of my shows.

Ever notice how "hiatus" sounds a lot like "hate us"?

Also, I can't stand summer clothes. I don't wear sandals, because the world does not need to be exposed to my weird feet, and spaghetti straps and shorts are less than flattering on me.

So I'm looking forward to fall, that season of plaids and tweeds and crisp evenings and spiral notebooks. And I'm white-knuckling my way to the end of September, when I'll be on vacation, and when, God willing, my shows will return from hiatus.

Posted by Laura Marshall at 10:11 AM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

I was thinking some more about that gift-shop jingle, and it strikes me that I might have the first line wrong.

The cheesy music that runs under the whole thing kind of drowns out the lyrics -- not that I'm complaining about that -- so the first line is either "There's a place where people go," which is how I hear it, or "There's a place where people know," or even "There's a place for people who know ... "

But neither of those is any better than the way I had it, and the "people who know" one is ludicrous. Which is why it's entirely possible that that's what the line really says.

Posted by Laura Marshall at 11:21 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

Why is it that the songs that get stuck in my head are so very rarely the good ones?

There's this one jingle that really gets me, though. It runs on Capital News 9, and it's for a gift shop ... somewhere in the New York Capital Region. I'm not sure where, because that crucial piece of information is unfortunately missing from the lyrics.

Instead, we get:

"There's a place where people go,
Lines of collectibles by the row:
Figurines and everything.
[Someone*]'s Gift Shop -- you'll just love it!"

Who writes jingles like that? For one thing, only the first two lines rhyme; for another, the two middle lines are not only clumsy, but redundant. Also, the entire first line is a waste -- it tells us nothing about the shop. "There's a place where people go" could describe ... well, anywhere.

* Please note that I've changed the name so I don't get sued.

Posted by Laura Marshall at 12:23 AM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

Gasp, I missed last night's "Office" episode! I'm a bad fan. A bad, bad fan.

I didn't mean to, but we had rented "Zodiac," and it was so gripping we forgot all about what time it was. When it ended at 10:45 p.m., I looked up and said, "Oh no! We missed 'The Office'!"

At least I had seen it when it first aired, and then a few times again in the next few days. It was "The Negotiation," a pretty darn good episode. Former fellow Eagle copy editor and official "TV personality" quote-picker Kerry Sullivan reports she had too many good lines from which to choose.

The quote: "I don't think Michael intended to punish me by putting Ryan back here with Kelly. But, if he did intend that ... wow. Genius."
Who said it: I remember both the episode and the Scranton branch office well enough to know that was Toby (Paul Lieberstein)!

Posted by Laura Marshall at 12:29 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

There are a lot of things the Fox network has done to kill off enthusiasm for "On the Lot" that, frankly, I'll never understand. Sure, the initial ratings were fairly abysmal, but instead of trying to bolster them, the network seems to have strangled the show and, in the process, the few of us who've stuck with it.

Last night's installment was particularly lame: For the final week, instead of giving the three directors the budgets and resources to make their best films ever ... they had them pick two previously aired shorts they felt best represented their work.

Come on, Fox! This was supposed to be the "glamour of Hollywood" week, the one that let the competing directors show us what they're really capable of achieving. Instead, we got the reality-TV equivalent of a yawn and a shrug.

Also, what's up with having three finalists? Everybody knows a reality-show competition is supposed to come down to the top two.

I know what it is: Fox gave up on the show and has been going through the motions, and now the "On the Lot" budget has truly been used up. But couldn't they have planned a little better?

Posted by Laura Marshall at 09:56 AM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

I can't say I was terribly surprised at the outcome of last night's "Hell's Kitchen" season finale: It was pretty clear from the start that Rock was going to win, but I'll admit I was holding out hope for someone a little less egotistical to claim the top spot.

Though I guess you have to be pretty egotistical to compete on one of these reality shows in the first place. You have to love the fact that your own charming grin is going to grace TV screens around the world; you have to look forward to your every move being narrated and broadcast with dramatic music in the background. You have to be pretty confident in everything you are to put yourself out there like that.

Because it could backfire. You can't care that you could end up looking not only confident but cocky; not only calculating but heartless. It happened to Rock. He's probably not as mean and merciless as he appeared on the show, thanks to the ruthless editors and producers, who have the tough job of distilling each contestant's character into two dimensions.

But he did come across as mean and merciless, and when he wished his fellow finalist, Bonnie, good luck, it ended up sounding hollow. And because of this, his victory left a bad taste in my mouth.

Posted by Laura Marshall at 11:31 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

Just got back from a lovely long weekend in Kingston, Ontario, Canada. I try to go back once a year -- usually during Alumni Weekend in September, but I'm going to be away then -- in order to maintain my hybrid accent, my Honorary Canadian status, and my collection of Queen's University T-shirts. I got to visit campus and drop loads of dough at the bookstore and generally reconnect with one of my favorite cities on the planet.

There's just something about Canada, and Kingston in particular. I can't explain it, and believe me, I've tried. You just have to experience it. I found it the first time I went up to Queen's for a prospective-student campus visit -- I fell in love, and I just had to go there.

And I noticed something on the telly while up there this weekend: Even the weather guy was exceedingly polite. Now, politeness is a stereotype Canadians have had to endure for ages. And, like all stereotypes, it probably isn't true. But they've borne it with such decorum that we Americans would never be able to tell.

So I grinned to myself while I was getting dressed and packed up yesterday as the weather guy began each and every segment with a heartfelt, "Hello! Thank you for spending some of your time with us today. I really appreciate it." As if, by checking the forecast, we were doing him a personal favor.

Next year is my 10-year reunion. I'm not sure how that much time has gotten away from me. But I'm resolved to do all the official alum things next year -- you know, visit campus and drop loads of dough at the bookstore and generally reconnect with one of my favorite cities on the planet.

Posted by Laura Marshall at 09:44 AM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

This week's "Office" quote challenge, courtesy of Ms. Super-Editor Kerry Sullivan, is ...

The quote: "The downside? I date Michael Scott publicly and collapse into myself like a dying star."
Who said it: The lovely Jan Levinson (not Jan Levinson-Gould), played by Melora Hardin.

Posted by Laura Marshall at 10:04 PM | Permalink | Comments (2) | TrackBacks (0)

Just before midnight tonight, my life changed. I was standing up, keys in hand, ready to leave work for the night, when I glanced up at the newsroom television set.

"He's up!" someone called from the sports department. And we all held our breath and waited to see if maybe this time Barry Bonds would break Hank Aaron's home run record.

Okay, yeah, so I'm not a sports fan. I'm not from San Francisco, and I wouldn't recognize Bonds if he was standing next to me at the bus stop. I shouldn't have been invested one way or the other. But trust me, it meant a lot to see him bash that ball into the stands and round the bases: It meant the end of the Bonds Watch.

You see, East Coast newspapers have a difficult time with West Coast games. It's tough to get final game stats in the paper when most games don't start till 10 p.m. and we have a midnight deadline. But when there's a potential big record-breaker, we have to have all kinds of contingency plans. We have to figure out how to change our layouts and when to send the color plates to the press, and who's going to fix what to make sure the papers go out reasonably on time and with full coverage.

Tonight, for instance, I had to plan my front-page design around "Well, if Bonds breaks the record, we'll have to move the Utah mine story to an inside page and put the fancy pre-made '756' teaser in its place. At midnight."

So as I watched fans scramble for The Baseball That'll Break eBay, I felt a mixture of joy and chagrin. Joy, because now I won't have to plan my every cover page around Barry Bonds. And chagrin, because all that work I did to get the miner story on A1 was for naught.

That's okay, though. There won't be a Bonds Watch tomorrow, and that's good enough for me.

Posted by Laura Marshall at 12:44 AM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

I was under the impression that the "Hell's Kitchen" episode last night was to be the finale ... but then, all of a sudden, it was an hour later and they'd hardly done anything. It was a lot of recap and one little challenge, and then: "Tune in next week for the finale."

I feel cheated.

Posted by Laura Marshall at 10:32 AM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

One of my favorite movies has been on Time Warner Free Movies On Demand for a little while now: "Meet John Doe."

Directed by Frank Capra, the 1941 film stars a perennial fave of mine, Barbara Stanwyck, and Gary Cooper.

Stanwyck plays Ann Mitchell, a pushy journalist. At the outset, Mitchell and a host of her colleagues are laid off, but she's told to be sure to get her column turned in before she cleans out her desk. Furious, she makes up a letter that says, in protest against all the evils of the world, a "John Doe" will leap off the City Hall building on Christmas Eve.

The letter is printed, and then the newspaper is faced with either admitting the lie ... or finding a John Doe that they can pay until Christmas to say he's going to commit suicide. Enter Gary Cooper as Long John Willoughby, a former baseball pitcher who, like so many others, has fallen on hard times. He agrees to take on the role of John Doe, and his 15 minutes of fame begin.

It's a Capra film, so you know what it's like: charming and full of sentiment. And definitely worth a watch if you have the On Demand service with your cable. I keep catching snippets here and there while I'm cleaning house, but I've really got to put it on DVD before it's gone -- and so should you.

Posted by Laura Marshall at 10:20 AM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

This week's "Office" quote was e-mailed, as always, by magazine editor Kerry Sullivan, who's sweltering this week down in Virginia.

The quote: "I feel so tingly, so strangely powerful. Oh well."
Who said it: Jim (John Krasinski). Good thing I managed to catch this on iTunes after it originally aired, since my VCR flubbed and didn't record it. But here's hoping it worked tonight, since I'd like to see the episode on a real screen.

Posted by Laura Marshall at 11:57 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

For days now, I have had that M&Ms song in my head -- the one in the background with the cartoon candies with hair being such kooky individuals? Yeah, that one.

According to Entertainment Weekly's "Ads that Rock" box, it's a 1984 tune by The The called "This is the Day."

Just typing that got it back in my head. Not that anything could have stopped it -- every time I turn on my TV to check the news or the weather, that blasted commercial finds a way to come on.

Curses!

Posted by Laura Marshall at 09:58 AM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)